In the spirit of the online text revolution, here is a first draft revision of the Script--
2019:
The Continuing Odyssey of Copyright Laws
written by Alysa LaRose Wooden
LS of front of apartment complex—at bottom of screen—year 2019
Beginning of V/O
MS of person walking down walkway of apartment
V/O: It was an ordinary, sunny day on an ordinary street located in Anywhere, America. John Doe was walking back from a college seminar discussing the alarming illiteracy rates of Washington State Orphans due to a lack of access to reading material. The thoughts of illiterate orphans plagued his very being and inhabited the very core of his soul.
LS of John Doe (Christoph) thinking
MS of Christoph at computer
V/O: But John Doe wasn’t’ just any person with a heavy conscious and a sterling sense of responsibility. John Doe was a man of action. So he set about a plan—
MS of Christoph grabbing books, opening them and then typing them into the computer
V/O: His plan was to start a free, non-commercial database of now “public domain” literature (such as some of Robert Frosts poems) so that the little orphans in Washington state could have an extensive online library of reading material available to them with easy access. John Doe code-named it operation Eldred II.
Cut to: “Book Company Lawyer” (Derek) at computer searching for copyright trespassers
Derek: What’s this? Someone trying to make my clients work available online—and for free? NEVER!! First I’ll get the copyright law extended for another 50 years, and then I’ll sue the creator of the website and make them a FELON!
MOOHAHAHA!!!
Cut to apartment—front of door, close up on knock
LS of Christoph coming to door
Christoph: Who is it?
From Behind Door: Pizza Delivery!
Christoph opens door.
Christoph: Wait, I didn’t order delivery, I had Digorno.
Two “Brown Baggers” put brown bag over Christoph’s head and drag him inside of apartment and sit him down
Lauren: You have been charged based off of the violation of copyright code 0048.
Leah: If you choose to do so you can take your objections to your being charged to court
Lauren: Whereby your claims will be dismissed promptly.
Both laugh menacingly
Christoph takes brown bag off
Christoph: Sorry, I couldn’t breathe.
Lauren: What did you think you were doing?
Christoph: Helping Washington State orphans.
Leah: (mockingly) Helping Washington State orphans. Well, they don’t need your help. But do you know who does? The families of the author’s in which you are harming.
Lauren: You were trying to starve them of their money!
Leah: 2 million dollars is not enough to eat off of!
Lauren: You are a public menace!
Leah: You are a bad person!
Lauren: You are trying to hurt our economy!
Leah: Unpatriotic!
Lauren: Bagabond!
Christoph: Wait! I was trying to help illiterate orphans.
Leah: The orphans don’t need you help.
Lauren: The orphans are fine.
Leah: They like being illiterate.
Lauren: The like being orphans.
Leah: How could you?
Lauren: How could you?
Several minutes later
Christoph: (overwhelmed) You’re right. I am a bad person.
Leah and Lauren smile.
Christoph: I see the light! Never again! Stealing is wrong. Orphans are happy people living in green meadows with rainbow books growing on trees. Copyright is good! I love copyright! Extend copyrights FOREVER!
Cut to Derek
Derek: Another wayward student brought into the light! Copyright forever. Ban online text databases! Protect the authors forever, and prosecute the hackers who threaten our great traditions!
(chants) Copyright, Copyright, COPYRIGHT!
FIN
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